Buy Your Man Something for Valentine's Day

Boy, these holidays can definitely put a dent in a man’s wallet, unless you know how to satisfy your woman without breaking the damn bank (and I ain’t talking about sex.). Being creative is the best way to avoid emptying your bank account, but that’s not what I’m gonna talk about in this post, although I should make a tandem post speaking about some of the gifts that men can buy to surprise your woman. It’s easy, with some research.

WOMEN!

BUY YOUR MAN SOMETHING FOR VALENTINE’S DAY!

Here’s the thing. A few national holidays (Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Christmas) and major days (Wedding, Birthdays, Anniversaries) are centered around the woman’s experience, and there’s nothing wrong with that, because women, especially black women, just aren’t celebrated enough. However, black men aren’t appreciated enough, and certainly not celebrated they way the good ones should be. Here’s another experiment:

Name the holiday/major day besides Father’s Day, and that man’s birthday, where the main objective is to celebrate a man, and buy the man gifts?

Having trouble, aren’t you?

That’s because society had a period where women didn’t work, and so they marketed everything, including holidays, around men spending money, due to men being the job-holders, and therefore, the spenders in the family. It’s how engagements came to be, and why weddings are so important to women, because they were marketed to women as being specifically FOR women. The problem is, nowadays, women hold significant jobs, significant enough to be able to treat their man once in a while. Women are not bystanders in society anymore, and are actually propelling the minority community forward, due to more opportunities (however, not exactly equal) in jobs and the workforce, meaning that they can now afford to treat men every once in a while.

And they should. Without a doubt.

I’m not saying that now, all of a sudden women should be the ones proposing and buying men cars, because I think there are some things that men should initiate because of the responsibility that comes with being a man. God made men to be the head of the household, and as such, there are things that men must do, and should be expected to do. However, that does not mean that men can not receive gifts, and that women shouldn’t buy them gifts. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be an expression of love and care from one person to the other, and for love to be taken seriously by both parties, the shows of affection should be reciprocated. There should not be a one way stream of gifts and items, in exchange for mainly sex. Contrary to popular belief, that is not an adequate gift in terms of a couple, because often sex is already happening within the frame of the relationship, which can render sex somewhat invaluable, because it is a common occurrence. So that man is showering you with gifts, and the most imaginative thing you can think of is sex?

WELL, THAT’S JUST LAZY..

Men might very well be simple creatures, who don’t want nor need a lot to be happy. Lord knows I don’t ever need much, because I buy myself what I want. But it’s not about the buying, it’s more about knowing that the woman is willing to go extra steps to show that she loves her man through thoughtful gifts. The man may say he wants nothing, but buying him something that may have mentioned he wanted, or might have needed that he hadn’t bought himself shows a level of attention and care that he will definitely appreciate. Valentine’s Day is a day for love, but it seems as if women expect the men to treat them with extravagant gifts and experiences, while only offering one thing, and that shouldn’t be the case. Men love effort and care. Men love to feel wanted. Going the extra mile is appreciated, no matter then gender. So, attempt to get your man something you think he might like. Surprise him. Bring something in the house he likes. It’s Valentine’s Day, and to be honest, we probably shouldn’t be celebrating it in the first place, but if we are going to celebrate it, then let’s do what all women are campaigning for right now, (and rightfully so) and make things like this equal. Don’t shortchange it just because you may not be used to doing this like that, or you may not know what he wants, or because you may not have the time to go and find him something, because those would not be fitting excuses if your man said those things to you about the same thing. Take him out to eat, instead of the other way around, or buy him those shoes he showed you at one point. Take the initiative to do something that will create a memory. Obviously, he should be doing so as well, but men are expected to. So, try and step outside the box, ladies, and do something special for your man. I promise you, if he’s a good man, he will appreciate it, and pay it back tenfold.

Black History Fact:

The first licensed African American Female pilot was named Bessie Coleman.

Born in Atlanta, Texas in 1892, Bessie Coleman grew up in a world of harsh poverty, discrimination and segregation. She moved to Chicago at 23 to seek her fortune, but found little opportunity there as well. Wild tales of flying exploits from returning WWI soldiers first inspired her to explore aviation, but she faced a double stigma in that dream being both African American and a woman.

She set her sights on France in order to reach her dreams and began studying French. In 1920, Coleman crossed the ocean with all of her savings and the financial support of Robert Abbott, one of the first African American millionaires. Over the next seven months, she learned to fly and in June of 1921, the Fédération Aéronautique Internationale awarded her an international pilot's license. Wildly celebrated upon her return to the United States, reporters turned out in droves to greet her.

Coleman performed at numerous airshows over the next five years, performing heart thrilling stunts, encouraging other African Americans to pursue flying, and refusing to perform where Blacks were not admitted. When she tragically died in a plane accident in 1926, famous writer and equal rights advocate Ida B. Wells presided over her funeral. An editorial in the "Dallas Express" stated, "There is reason to believe that the general public did not completely sense the size of her contribution to the achievements of the race as such."